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It's Not a Bucket List. It's an 'Enhance The Rest of Your Life' List

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Category: sports

Before I turn 31, I want to throw out the first pitch at a baseball game right after singing the national anthem.

Before I turn 31, I want to have an entire "sexting" conversation with both Tiger Woods and Jesse James.

Before I turn 31, I want to ride in a hot air balloon and then base jump from it.

Before I turn 31, I want to challenge a professional UFC fighter to a cage fight just to see how long I could last.

Before I turn 31, I want to dress as flamboyantly as a figure skater, but never actually step foot on ice.

Before I turn 31, I want to learn to play and compete in a professional polo match. Something about riding a horse and smashing a ball around with a large mallet just sounds like a good time to me.

Before I turn 31, I want to take part in extreme ironing. Like ironing while riding a skateboard attached to a car on the freeway.

Before I turn 31, I want to train to be a jockey and ride in a professional horse race. I'm 6'4.

Before I turn 31, I want to create a completely new sport that will become one of the majors. I think we've had enough of MLB, the NBA, the NFL, and the NHL. Maybe some combination of lacrosse and riding on the back of goats. I'd watch it.

Before I turn 31, I want to challenge Usian Bolt to a footrace. I'd never win. I wouldn't even come close. But I'd talk it up like I could totally take him. Maybe if I dress up like a tortoise it would work to my advantage.

Before I turn 31, i want to do commentary on a major sporting event. If I can't, I guess I'll settle for doing the commentary for a curling competition or a cricket match.

Before I turn 31, I want to be the ball boy for the Lakers. The closer to 31, the better. It'll make it more awkward the older I am.

Before I turn 31, I want to race in a marathon. BUT I want to set the record for the longest possible amount of time it has ever taken a person to complete that marathon.

Before I turn 31, I want to end up on the jumbo-tron at a major sports event for doing the truffle shuffle like Chunk in Goonies.

Before I turn 31, I want to go base jumping in a highly populated city.

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