Before I turn 31, I want to build a homemade catapult and use it to launch a family or significant other if they ever piss me off.

Before I turn 31, I want to switch my brother's laundry detergent with bleach to get him back for years and years of nagging me.

Before I turn 31, I want to learn how to hotwire a car. Not so I can steal other people's cars, but to make it really difficult for any of my family members to borrow my mine.

Before I turn 31, I want to get the cheesiest "I Heart Mom" tattoo that I possibly can.

Before I turn 31, I want to make sure that the people who mean the most to me in the world are well aware of it.

Before I turn 31, I want to tie a twinkie around my fat cousin's forehead while he's sleeping and then see if he'll actually chase after it when he wakes up.

Before I turn 31, I want to exploit my younger brother in a viral video.

Before I turn 31, I want to do one thing...just one thing...that would make my parents proud.

Before I turn 31, I want to show up to a family dinner with a 75 year old woman on my arm and introduce her as my fiance. And then proceed to feed her applesauce at the dinner table.

Before I turn 31, I want to get my grandpa really drunk at Thanksgiving dinner so he doesn't have a filter. He never liked my dad, so I'm sure whatever he ends up doing will be entertaining as hell!

Before I turn 31, I want to get a designer dog, like a golden doodle. And then I'll name it Poodle. Poodle the golden doodle.

Before I turn 31, I want to be able to buy my mom a house.

Before I turn 31, I want to write thank you notes to all of my family members.

Before I turn 31, I want to pay for my parents to take a vacation. They deserve it.

Before I turn 31, I want to have at least 1 kid with a possible 2nd on the way.